I am so lost.

Almost everything is taken away from me now,i dont know what to do anymore.Just so lost,No directions to go.It is strange how this is happening,something that i never thought would happened.Parents and all,thought they would understand but turned out that i was wrong.I just need a little space and time sometimes,just those pressured times,thats all.

I just wish i can turn time back now.To those times when i am happy,she is happy and everyone is happy.I also realize that i cant do that,this is a bumpy situation we are in for the road in not always straight.I smile sometimes,knowing two things,that god really did what it has to do and i dont know if i sound crazy or what,but it just may be another blessing in disguise.

And for the record,i havent been so lost until today.I deserved it all but i really wish it wouldnt be like that.I have already asked for forgiveness that i will not repeat it again only to hope that it will come true.No karma for me,even if there is i would really love it to be in another form,not this form.Something which i can afford to lose,not something that i cannot afford to lose.

I hope that my doa will be answered,i have worked so hard and i hope that everything will be fine,afterall,what is a straight road with any bumpy parts?What is an ocean without any waves?You know what i want everything to be?Just like the waterfall,although it is blocked by so many rocks on the way down,it still goes on and on.Now,that is something very meaningful and should be done.

We must always battle with the inner feelings,why let something else take control of our mind?We own our mind,god gave us the mind for us to use.Let us take control of our own minds.Nothing is impossible.Nothing at all,only if we put our mind to it.

Right now,i am going throught alot.A hell lot.I dont know what to do and where to go.Basically,i am so confused and lost.Sometimes,i just want the road to be smooth,no bumps at all but i know that is impossible,but what can i do?i can only dream about that knowing that it is not true.Its fantasy,not reality.

I just want everything to be just like the old times.Thats all.

I realize,i cant face reality no more.

Yes,i cant face reality no more.Everything has always been a fantasy to me,everything that i dreamt of,i have always thought that everything will come true,but oh boy was i wrong.I knew i had to face a big test one day,i never knew the day would be today.God really brought everything down to me,including a huge coincidence that is so precisely timed.I am really impressed i must say.

Sometimes,i just cant take things the way they are.But i just love that value,i will tend to change things and shape it to the way that they are supposed to be.That is life,we adapt to all situations and go through thick and thin.We can run,but we running will either only delay our problems or make it worst later on.No doubt about that.

Anyways,there are so many things that i want to type but i just cannot find the energy to do so.I will blog later on.Adios.

Some things are just stuck at the back of your head

There are some things that are just stuck at the back of your head.No matter what you do,somehow you will still think of it.No matter how much you try to voice it out,your voice gets stuck and you dont have the heart to pour it all.Why?

You are afraid that people wont understand you.

So yeah,i guess i will be having so many things stuck at the back of my head for months to come,who knows?Maybe years itself.And some of them,the answers i want.I will probably never get,why?Because i will probably regret hearing those answers.

Yes,thats how afraid that people wont understand me.

And some hidden feelings will always be there,never letting it off your chest because of so many reasons.Like they say,the truth hurts.But for this case,it will probably drag on forever or so because of insecurity.

Attitude or not,it certainly comes in a different issue.I will scream out loud in a place where there is no one but me and mother nature,I will write it all out in an empty place where the people that sees it will not know that its me.I will run to an empty place full of strangers only to know that i will be delaying the problem and not solving it.

I will dream,a dream that shows someone giving me a magical clock that allows me to turn time back,a dream that brings me to a place that let me say all my heart out.Someone just have to hear it all out.But yet,If i was in that place,i will still not dare to open a chapter of my life.
Why?because i have a weak heart.
And even of i summon all my courage to do so,i wont.

Why?Because no one seems to understand me,
No one at all.

Enemy of the state

Nice sentence isnt it,Enemy of the state.Yeah it sure does sound cool.Well,havent been updating march but these are my events for march.Well,here are some of the events that have been happening this month.First of all.

My mum's birhtday party,11th of March.Me,my grandma,my parents of course and Feiruz went to Hilton at kl sentral to eat in Chyna.Pretty good food there i must say,i am quite a regular there.haha.The beef there is simply fantastic.I bought my mum a tiger soft toy for her birthday.Hehe.I love you mum.

Azaliya's farewell party.It was held in the Petroleum club in KLCC.Well,everyone was given a photo frame with a photo taken with her from the old days.I was very touched when i saw our picture together.Take care Aza.When you come back,we will hang out more.You already got my message in the book that i wrote in.Yes,our friendship only have commas,but no fullstops.Yup,the four of us plus Sharifah and Lala went the party.After the party i sent Sharifah home while Zainul sent Lala to Sunway before we guys met up in a cybercafe near Tropicana to CS!Hehe.

Zainul's grandparents 55th wedding anniversary at the Shangrila hotel.The part i like best was the buffet and the free giveaway cigar party.Hehe.Managed to see Datuk K which i always wondered how he look like in real life.Pretty slim i must say.Well,i certainly enjoyed myself that night.

Well guys,thats all.This is what happened in March.We shall see in April when hmmm...You know,when my *ahem*Birthday is coming up.Get those gifts ready guys!hahaha.Ciaoz for now.Take care!

Heartbroken.

I have always wondered if this day would come,it finally did.I didnt want it to happened but what can i do?I cannot do anything to change this situation.I have been trying so hard to hide my feelings but sometimes,it just cant be done.Everytime i think back about those memorable moments,it saddens my heart and i always want those days to come back again,well i guess it wont come backa anytime soon.No human is perfect they say,true.Neither am i,but no matter what i try to do to change this situation,i just cant do anything about it,nothing at all.

My heart is cannot feel anything anymore.When did it happened?It all happened on Sunday.What a day to remember,what a day to make things worst.What a moment,what a situation that i will never forget.I will never forget those screams when it happened,the situation is just so emotional.I enjoyed many good moments,miraculous and fantastic moments to be precise.I somehow knew that this day would come as what they always say "All good things must come to an end"

I never believed in that philopsophy until those moments came and hit me hard.I gave so much love and support and i will still continue doing so until today.Those magical moments,i will never fail to forget.Do you know how it feels when you are hit so hard until there is nothing left of you but only your soul?You should know how it feels like,because friends,that is just one situation you will hate to be in.My mind is made up,when i said i will love and support forever,i will do it.I will not change no matter what.Yes,thats the man i am.Sunday really killed me all,it oficially ended those magical moments.

I tell you friends,when times are like this,you have to stand up and find that feeling that you feel.The sadness that will slowly creep all over your body.Stand up and fight back,no matter how emotional things can get,you can do it for sure.In life,things like this happens.What matters the most is how you stand up after you fall.

I gave so much love and i will not stop until forever,i gave so much support and determination that it will last forever.I love you so much that it will never change no matter what happens.Even what happends on Sunday night that broke my heart and change things around.The love and support will still be there for sure,i will hide and ignore those feelings and start new,afterall,things changes as time goes by in life.I have never believe that it will come to an end but i remembered when it did.

Its ok Arsenal Football club,we can still do it!Although on Sunday,you lost to everton on a last minute goal,i know how shattered your spirits are and all but we can still do it,we can still get second in the EPL.Your unbeaten run,although broken a long time ago we can still do it!I will continue giving my love and support to the club.

Thank god for my wonderful girlfriend,who supports arsenal football club too.You go Feiruz!I love you.

La La La La

Hello,My name is Afandi oh.Welcome to my blog.Haha,sounds like a noob right?Well today my baby cousin officially turns two.Such a big boy already huh?

I will post some jokes for today's post.


A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.""I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.""Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed."Good," she replied. "Get your own f*&^ing blanket."After a moment of silence, he farted.


Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff, and he Was also gone.The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.
"MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST"


Enjoy people :)

Good old times.

Grand 18th birthday cake.






















Yeah,18 is also my favourite number.


Imran's birthday




















They tied a baloon to my back.


Inky trip,Redang 2005.
















Chillin in Terengganu.



















Yeah man,Chillin in da hammock!!!


















Still playing football as a team no matter where we go


















The star player :D




HELP college early days

















Posing for presentation























Chilling at the pool




High school days.















Yes,we are jobless

four shishas a night before the tournament and we somehow won it.Memories.

We conquered Tropicana.

2004,Carolyn Chia's farewell party in her house in Tropicana.

Chen yi von's birthday in Chillis,Bangsar.

Big splash 2005 they call it.Look at the trophies that the blue house won,Yes,we won the whole event.Envy us ;)

Aftter jumping into the pool,we still wanted more.

Yeah friends,End of an Inky journey in Sri cempaka.

The beruang rugby team.Gold medal of course look at who is their captain ;) haha

Beruang's marching team.We are the kung fu people yaw!!!

Commerce United 2005.Forever and ever.

31st August 2005,Azaliya is so called transferring me with the jersey.Hehe.

Yup,Thats the real end of our school life.Straight away after SPM account paper test...December 5 2005... :(

Wonderful memories.Sometimes,it is times like this that makes me look back with a big smile.I miss you guys alot.I hope that you guys know that.If there was only one day where we could go back and rewind it for a week,it would really mean alot to me.Life's like that,so i guess we will move on but never forget the wonderful memories done together.I hope that we will meet up often enough.

To all of you guys out there that i have lost contact with,I hope to get in contact with you guys again.All the best in life!

I really miss you guys...

The finger will always end up pointing at me

No matter what i do or what i didnt do,When arguments happens in the end they will say i started everything.Even if i did something it has a small contribution to it which alot of people were in the same situation and doesnt deserve a big "hoo haa" about it.

I am sick and tired of this.

For something i didnt do,i get blame for it because both the people that argue do not want to point out their mistakes that caused the arguments and fingers will be pointing elsewhere to frame other people and somehow,It is always me.

Why?Am i somehow sort of a finger magnet?I certainly dont think so.

A big argument exploded for something really small which i did which in truth,doesnt deserve a small argument at all,But the argument was about something else and they say what started the argument was because of me.

You know what?Last time i will just defend myself because i know i am right and dont deserve that kind of treatment.

Now,i will just lay back and ignore it.I am sick and tired of this.

Sick and tired of getting blamed for something that i didnt do.